Job Search Networking: Be Yourself

For me, part of the reason networking seemed so difficult was because I was convinced that I couldn’t be who I really was and still be a successful networker. Of course I was doing a lot of things that weren’t really me because…well I’m not sure why I did them. Probably things I had read in those books that seemed to be what everyone else was doing.

My networking in the past hadn’t been very successful because I tried to create a persona that wasn’t me.

Then I realized the master networkers I was learning from didn’t do any pretending. They were able to create relationships quickly because they were themselves in any situation. Being real doesn’t necessarily mean sharing that you haven’t done laundry in the last three weeks. It just means that when you are doing networking in a way that works for you, you’ll be more comfortable. You’ll be able to focus on the other person and make them feel comfortable. What a great foundation for a relationship!

Sometimes things feel a little awkward simply because you are moving out of your comfort zone. If it’s time for you to make that move, great. But if something feels awkward because it just isn’t right for you, then I say don’t do it. You will be able to come up with other ways to get the results you want.

So relax, let the relationship unfold, and the results will follow

Relaxing might be difficult when you are thinking about your unemployment running out or how you’re going to explain to people why you’ve been out of work for 12 months. I don’t want you to think people wouldn’t have sympathy for your situation. It’s just that if you let those circumstances influence your behavior, you’ll find it more difficult to connect with people you meet.

When you are relaxed (easier said than done, I know) you are easier to talk to. The conversation—and the connecting—just happen. Now you have the beginning of a relationship that you’ll enjoy and find helpful.

Tip to Try:

Be willing to be yourself. Never ask yourself to network in a way that is uncomfortable for you. To be successful in networking, you don’t have to be phony or manipulative.