Staying Upbeat in Job Search–There is a Pony in There Somewhere

In interviews and networking, there are two things being evaluated along with your skills and experience. Your energy level and the self-confidence you convey.

I’ve seen candidates who were a great fit on paper be rejected by the hiring manager after the first interview. Why? Nothing to do with their skills and experience, but because they did not sound confident, did not come across as high-energy, or sounded desperate. As simple as that.

When you’ve had difficult, sometimes embarrassing, occasionally humiliating, and certainly frustrating experiences in your job search, a positive attitude can seem to be very elusive—and worthless. Every time I was in job search mode, I tried to pretend I was feeling positive and self-confident. I also tried to convince myself people wouldn’t feel I was pretending.

If you want to be able to connect with the interviewer or person you’re networking with, think quickly on your feet, be able to answer questions effectively, and portray a high-energy and self-confidence, you need to feel good.

Most of us were trained (by almost everyone in our lives who believed it also) that by focusing on what is wrong we will get to what we really want. Focusing on what was wrong was thought to be how you prevented getting more of that wrong thing. Actually that is backward.

Let me share a technique that might help. It may sound counter-intuitive, too simple to be effective, or just plain silly. OK but please try it anyway for just a few minutes.

In every situation, look for one thing that is good. Look for one thing you can enjoy, or appreciate or maybe even laugh at. Well that last one might be a stretch. But look for something that you can like —right now. 

I’m not asking you to tell yourself that you’re really happy about something when you’re not and you shouldn’t even pretend to be. Remember this isn’t about pretending. Your feelings, whatever they are, are legitimate and not mine to judge. It’s about finding one thing to like so you can change your attention, your thoughts and thus, your energy.

So ask yourself: What’s something good in this situation. If I wanted to like some little thing in what’s happening right now, what would that be?

Don’t pretend. Don’t try to reach for feeling ecstatic if it’s too far away. Instead, look for something that makes you feel just a little better. And focus on to that until you can find the next thing to feel good about.

It’s scary to stop focusing on what’s wrong as a way to get to what’s right. It’s also a great way to get the energy, attitude and confidence that hiring managers will appreciate.

Test it out for yourself to see if it gives you a better feeling. Who knows where that could lead?

“There’s a pony in here somewhere” (in case you haven’t heard it before):

A father was amazed that his son was always positive no matter what happened. So he decided to see just how positive his son could be.

He knew his son wanted a pony for his birthday, so he filled a room with manure and told his son that was his birthday present.

The son yelled “Yippee” and started digging through the manure. 

The father asked “What are you so happy about? I’ve just given you a room of manure.”

To which the son replied, “But with all this xxxx, there has to be a pony in here somewhere.”

So whenever the “manure” builds up for you, look for the pony. 

It is in there somewhere.